Am i selfish and petty

 Guys, am i selfish and petty ? I do have certain issues with my in laws , do let me know your opinion on some of my issues with them . Do u think these are justified issues or am i just being petty and overreacting as my husband says

1. I feel that no one makes an effort to get to know me or talk to me . My husband brought this up my in laws and their response was that i am quiet and i give one word answers when asked questions and then keep using my phone.

> i have to disagree with this point and i feel betrayed and upset that they have such views about me . It takes 2 hands to clap. For me, the biggest effort i have made is being flexible enough to move in for 4 years. How many people do u know that can last living 4 years in a joint family? Everyone wants their own space and house. I gave up my privacy for their happiness , that was what my husband and in laws wanted . I gave in , and this is their opinion about me ?it hurts me , it upsets me , it makes me cry and makes me feel down . Why isit that no one understands me :( 

You can only give one word answers if ure asked a close ended question right . If their was intention for conversation, would someone ask only close ended questions ? Maybe its my fault . I am the one having adjustment issues ..

2. I feel that my sister in laws are not treating me as a “sister” and not as a part of their family but just an attachment piece of their brother , my husband disagrees and feels im being petty and picking on things , he feels that im asking too much . How should i react to this , examples below :

> there is a family chat where the my photo is not inside , the profile photo is of 6 of them only . It has been 4 years

> his sisters recently pasted photographs of my husband, his parents and of themselves with friends on the common wall outside their rooms on the 3rd & 4th floor . My photo is not there at all .

> house is studded with photos of my husband and his siblings with their parents . There is not a single of our wedding photo . There is a small photo of our pre wedding shoot on the hall TV console but my sister in law brought some flowers from office and placed it in front of the photo such that no one can see the photo . ( idk if this is intentional or not but it hurt my feelings , am i being oversensetive ? )

> when my husband and i go out to watch movies we make it a point as my husband always makes sure he asks his sisters if they want to join ? They however usually go watch movies together the 3 of them . Recently i told the oldest sister that “ oh actually next time you can invite us as well we were also free” my husband immediate said, its ok if u dont invite me i am too busy to go anyway - u can bring my wife along . My sister in law replied : it was a mutual friend that organised it . Later , my husband told me i was being hostile . It seems like everything is my fault .

> my sister in law is following all other family members on instagram except for me .

3.i am plagued with vomitting and increased urination in my first trimester . My toilet is at another level . No one made an effort to offer us a room with an attached toilet ( fyi ours is the only room in the house without a toilet at the same level ) . My MIL said i can use her toilet, i am thankful and appreciate that but sometimes my FIL is sleeping and the door is closed . How can i possibly be comfortable to barge in and use the toilet? What if my FIL is changing his clothes inside the room? As we know, vomiting cant wait for all these , furthermore  i am also uncomfortable to use their private toilet and enter my parents in law room to use it . I felt in this situation, what i would really appreciate is just a nearby toilet of my own to use . If they are not well to do and dont have rooms in the house with the luxury of such amenities i can understand , but that is not the case at all

> there are many other such silly examples but i dont want to go into it , i just would like some clarity , am i insane to feel upset ? Or am i just petty as what my husband says

I am also pumped with hormonal meds due to my pregnancy and idk if those are clouding my mind.

I am really going crazy from being a hormonal bundle of mess handling pregnancy and all these issues . What should i do ? Are all these thoughts truly unwarranted ? Am i really bring ridiculous and unappreciative for having such thoughts ?

Living with my in laws

 Dear readers ,

I am an indian professional living in a modern cosmopolititan city and im living with my in laws.

Yes, i am sensetive , yes i have moodswings and yes, i do have issues living with my in laws but i would love to know your opinions about my life situation to get some feedback.

Long story short it has been four years now . We live in my in laws house and i am married to their only son . My husband has 3 older sisters -they are unmarried ( in their 40s and it does not seem like they are interested to get married). We live on the second level opposite my parents in laws room and his 3 older sisters each have their own rooms on the 3rd and 4th floor .

Being an only child, i was ecstatic that my husband had 3 sisters . I thought this meant that i was gaining 3 sisters , the joy of a girl group to support through this new phase of life was something i was looking forward to immensely.

Alas , on the day i moved in , i got the biggest shock of my life . Our room was the smallest in the house and the toilet we had to use was at another level . All of his sisters had rooms double the size of ours with attached toilets or toilets just outside their rooms. This had already left a weird taste in my mouth. I was told by my husband that was his room since childhood hence it is to be assumed that that shall be our marital room as well as it is not nice to expect his sisters to give up their rooms. In my family, we usually welcome the wedded couple by making sure their living situation is looked into and optimized . Is it wrong of me to feel upset ? How would someone else in my position feel? How were we to even start a family if our room can only fit the bed and a 3 door cupboard , where do we put the babys cot ? All these questions ran through my head and made me very uneasy . Nonetheless, i could not do anything about it so i just went with the flow .

In the days to come, i realised that i was never going to be a part of the “ sisterhood” that they had . Nobody tried to get to know me , understand me, assimilate me into my family . I really felt i was on my own . My husband tried here and there but mostly told me to make an effort to initiate conversations. I am not the most sociable or outgoing person when it comes to new faces . I felt all alone , and this was the way it was going to be for the next 4 years …

My freedom, my privacy and even my happiness was all slowly dissapearing . Perhaps , it is my fault, perhaps i didnt try hard enough. I dont know . But all i know is , i am in an unhappy space . We well have the finances to rent but my husband was against it . We have gotten our own house , it was renovated and ready to be moved into but my husband is not ready to leave the family nest . He feels by doing so he is abandoning his responsibility to his family . But how about his responsibility to me and the little birdie growing in my tummy ? Yes, i am pregnant and in my 1st trimester . Please i would really appreciate some help and advise on how to proceed